The Fantastic Adventures Of Pyro John =-Memoirs Of A World Class Smart Ass
In his decades long career traveling the world as a professional pyrotechnician, “Pyro John” Watkins provided special effects for the biggest acts on the planet—Kiss, Van Halen, Pink Floyd, Michael Jackson, Bon Jovi, and many more. There was one thing he couldn’t stand, well actually there were many things that pissed him off but this one was special and it was whenever a spoiled celebrity looked down their pampered nose and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”
Those words never failed to make his skin crawl. If he was talking to them it wasn’t because he was a fan wanting an autograph, but chances were that they were standing someplace that was about to explode or go up in flames—and regardless of who they were, it was definitely in their best interest to move because John. might not have known, or even cared who a person was, what he did know was that fire really didn’t care how rich, successful, talented, or famous a person might be and fire will fuck you up regardless. When Pyro John says, “Move your ass,” he is not asking nicely in the warm coddling ways celebrities are accustomed to. Oh no! He is loud, mean, rude, deadly serious, and when he tells you to move your ass, you will move your ass and I mean right now!
This book is a collection of over fifty of Pyro John’s wild celebrity encounters. They range from the inspirational—like when he got down on his knees and prayed with Johnny Cash—to the sentimental as when he shares a private moment with the real Andy Kaufman—to the obscene with his friend world famous groupie Little Rock Connie—to the hilarious, yelling at stars like Garth Brooks or Yoko Ono when they got too close to his pyro, the fun just never ends! Rock stars, pop stars, country singers, actors, athletes, politicians, gangsters—no one was safe from Pyro John’s razor sharp, irreverent wit. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll swear he lies—but every single story in this book happened just the way he says it did or at least to the best of his recollections
Return if you dare to a simpler time—before political correctness, corporate sponsors, morality clauses, the AIDS epidemic, rehab, and civilization in general ruined rock and roll for everybody. Enjoy the chaos as Pyro John scrutinizes and mocks celebrities for sport. Pack your sense of humor, brace yourself for adult language and situations.
“After all the tours we did together I will always remember John Watkins As a true professional, and the book is great! What an incredible memory this guy has and I didn’t even know John could read!” Scotty Ross Tour Manager Van Halen, Journey, Dio
